Tuesday, March 10, 2009




Update on an old post:

The fawn in the previous post reprinted below has been released into the wild in an area where she hopefully won't end up mounted on a wall:


Click to enlarge.

She's doing quite well in that cellphone photo, having been rehydrated and fed after being found orphaned, on her way in my car to a wildlife rehab facility to grow up and return to the woods somewhere safe. My hand is in the photo to show you scale--she's barely the size of a puppy.
~

3/10/2009 12:06:00 AM

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Monday, March 09, 2009




Truth is always scarier than fiction...

This is a real note found inside a book in a bookshop:


Click to enlarge.

In case you can't read one key word, the sentence is "I think the blender would do the trick though."

My first thought (other than Oh My Gawd): I really hope the person isn't talking to a kitten.

Scary ol' world, in'nt?

~

3/09/2009 11:59:00 PM

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Saturday, October 11, 2008




How It Goes...

I once had a job that left my hands covered in a sticky wax with an odd odor, so I washed them quite a bit, especially after each shift. Nothing seemed to work, no amount of lathering and rinsing and repeating and lathering and rinsing and repeating with the antiseptic soap of the company bathroom. The smell became first an annoyance then an irritation and eventually something close to an obsession.

Of course it finally turned out to be the soap that smelled, not the wax I was trying to wash off.

Isn't that just how it goes?

~

10/11/2008 10:21:00 PM

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Monday, September 15, 2008




Read 'Em and Weep

I popped the lid off a bottle of tea and the inside of the cap offered me a free tea leaf reading at something-or-other dot com. Of course it would just have been some random generator of tea leaf images with fortunes attached, which got me to thinking about how silly it's all become. You can find your fortune and future fate on automated websites, in tea leaves, in coffee grounds, in tarot cards, inside of cookies, in rolled dice or tossed bones... Why not just look for prognostacative meaning in just about anything? If you wreck your car, stare at the twisted metal for a while. You're bound to see "Bad luck" spelled out somewhere in there, and you'll save yourself time and money by figuring it out all by yourself.

~

9/15/2008 01:34:00 PM

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Saturday, September 06, 2008




BananaHammer
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."

-Abraham Maslow
And if the only tool you have is a banana, you'll probably approach every problem as a Three Stooges episode where Curly slips on a peel.

~

9/06/2008 11:44:00 PM

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Sunday, August 03, 2008




Ghaaaah.

When plunging a commode, it is always good to remember to avoid making waves, which can (and will, at the first opportunity) go tidal and crash outside the bowl. The last thing you want in your toilet is a perfect storm.

That'd be just way too much like life.

~

8/03/2008 09:15:00 PM

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Friday, July 11, 2008




In The News...
"Woman struck by lightning while filming thunderstorm."
If only she'd been filming a lightning storm, she'd just have been deafened by thunder.

~

7/11/2008 01:07:00 PM

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Saturday, June 07, 2008




But... They Wanted Her To Be a Woman Candidate

I can't help but think that Clinton lost the recent nomination race because her potential supporters wanted a woman President. Yup. Ironically enough. What they got, of course, was a testerone-fueled bare knuckle boxer who made Obama look like a schoolgirl skipping rope in kneestockings, pigtails and a skirt.

Were people disappointed? No chance of putting the feminine principle, the Sofia, the nurturing and intuitive into the White House this time? No getting away from missile envy if the challenger has cojones as big as hers?

Don't get me wrong, I'd've been happy with she or Obama ending up in Washington (since Nader and Kucinich weren't in the race, heh.) I'd be happy with Clinton as Vice. I just think maybe she made a campaign mistake in thinking she had to show America that she could kick ass and take names as well as every other man in politics when maybe, just maybe, people wanted something different from every other man in politics.

But, on the bright side, I'm eagerly awaiting the forthcoming film Freddie versus Jason versus Leatherface versus Hillary.

She lost the Democratic nomination, but guess who wins this one?

~

6/07/2008 12:33:00 PM

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Thursday, June 05, 2008




His Real Name is Charles

Chuck Norris's real name is Charles. Ever think of that?

Picture Chuck Norris--probably kicking ass, but whatever way you like--picture Chuck Norris and think about it. Say it out loud a few times: Charles Norris. Charles Norris. Charles Norris.

Weird, in'nit?

~

6/05/2008 11:22:00 AM

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Wednesday, June 04, 2008




Hosers

Today I found myself behind a car with this bumper sticker:
Morgan Hose Co.
United We Stand, Divided We Fall
Mess With One of Us And You Mess With Us All
I guess I won't mess with the Morgan Hose Co.

Just who the heck is the Morgan Hose Co and why do they think I'll mess with them?

Little defensive, in'nt it?

Hosers.

~

6/04/2008 03:35:00 PM

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